as the days wind down

as the days wind down
my heart beats faster
the want grows more
the pain begins

the end is near..
but there is no beginning with out an
end

as ur best friend..
i feel like life is gettin ahead of you..
your 18, not 24..
love you
syd

take me down for the night
hold my hand..
get me thru the night

broken heart

its crazy to think that the two the broke my heart were in the same room as the one that has my heart and all i could think about was you..

I am feeling...

stressedout
tired
hungry
bored
eyes hurt
stomach`s off

But when i see you..
its all gonna go away..

tunnel

there was a tunnel.
and i was running in it.
you were crying.
i could hear ur voice.
calling my name.
screaming that you missed me.
it was all around me.
i saw the light at the end.
but as i got closer, it got farther..
last night the screaming stopped.
and i got scared.
you were gone.
and the light..
gone with you.

hallways are clear,
perfect time to think.
week ahead:
monday: none
tuesday:anniversary
shit..
wat to do what to do
gift?
card?
poem? last years gift..
fail.
text message..
"who is that wit ur boo at the car?"
prob prom date.
nbd. gotta get that tux
gift,gift gift
(door opens)
damn its hot..
so what should i get i mean its one ye----




him.

slipping

grip slipping
the tears rolling down my face arent helping
i want you to help, but ur tears are adding to the slipage
how can we let this slip?
the paper towels are stting right there..
somebodies gotta pick them up..
you.
or me?

guilty
for wanting to sleep..
what is ur plea..
i want out..

look into my eyes

tell me everything you love about me he said..

look into my eyes.. nothing i say will ever capture how i feel about you.. look into my eyes and everything i want to say or that needs to be said will come out..

everything is everything..
kisses are forever..
touch long lasting...
hugs bring warmth....
but your leaving..


we just got here..

26

26 mins past the alloted time given
busy doing work, hope that i can be forgiven
gonna write two
one for yesterday and today
hoping the hudak will favor my way.

Look me in my eyeS and tell me what you want to.. It's burning ur heart.. Jus. Get it out.. It's only three words. And if it's what ur heart it telling u to say, follow it, that's what they all say to do

lay with me

eyes heavy.
knees weak.
cant look to your face.
eyes on the street.
body screaming for bed.
arms reaching for you.
listen to my heart.
its beating for you.

you are my password
my thought process
my heart
my soul
my first
how can u do this to me.

Caught up

So caught up in the present,
all we needed was that look into the future

I saw your face..
And my life began

and a hush came over the crowd
all i could hear was my heart..
b e a t i n g
like the spelling of these words..
b e a t i n g
just like yours..

Put it behind me.. Gotta get back to where I should be.. But it's hard to speed up the time of that transaction, when your hearts all in but your brain is just a fraction...

Just walk the other way
Eff that.. come to me
After all we been through!
Leave that alone.. I`m here :(
Only one for you.. ME!
U mean more to me then you will ever know..
Stop.. your makin me..

God

they say when rain falls, its God crying..
only God could cry and pacify the heart and mind of man..
thunderstorms bring clarity..

is this supposed to be life?

How am i supposed to have a life when i cant even have my life in my life..
seems like im not living..
i want you back..
but i gotta wait..
waiting sucks..

note to self..
be you because nobody has to live this crazy life but you

heed your own advice
you never know when u might be right.

tell me you love me

i told you to just say it today
and when you told me when you say it
it wont be because i asked you to..
that was just as good as saying it..

complete

anticipation runs thru my veins
my mouth waters with the thought
your scent is everywhere..
24 hrs and you will be here with me..
complete

The Scent

The scent lingered all day. I wanted it to. Its the only thing that brought me back to the afternoon. The laughing. The cuddling. The sex. Everything from the day. The scent reminded me that it was real. The room. The sounds. The kids running around outside. The scent wasnt as strong at first. Brought me back to the beginning. You cleaning your room. Me on your bed. Exhausted. Faking sleep. Hoping you would take the hint to come lay with me. But you didnt. Nothing new. Always keep me waiting for the right moment. The scent leaves the room with you. I fake sleep. Hoping you come lay next to me. Back comes the scent. Strong this time, right under my nose. You cuddle with me. Embraced in my arms. Nuzzeling under my neck. Rubbing the scent. Knowing I will want it later. You look into my eyes. Look down at my lips. Kissing me. The scent was all around me as we twisted and turned in the bed.Caught up in the moment of the love.. Scent stops. Still but still strong. Paranoia struck. Car door? False alarm, neighbor. Whirlwind ends. Back to the calming scent. Nuzzled again under my nose. Giving me more for later. The scent lingered all day.. I wanted it to.. Its the only thing that brought me back to the afternoon..

Other.

I may not be the last person at night.
Or the first person in the morning.
I may not be the first thought.
Or the last.
I may not b told first.
Or at all.
But when its just me and you,
theres no order of importance.
The time we spend together,
Your my everything.. and I`m yours
And even though our hearts stay beating for someone else,
When we are together..
Nothing matters but us..

didnt want to fall for you

just like chocolate on a hots summers day,
even though i dont want it to melt..
it did

i told myself i wouldnt fall for you

just like that chocolate on that summers day,
I didnt want you fall for you..
but i did

disclaimer

My mom always tells me to dress like a lady...
So i did..
Ladies burp right?

island

there are times i wish i can go to an island..
and then my phone rings and i wake up

Wow.. its has been awhile since i wrote. during my time away,i really think that i have enough stuff to carry me thru the rest of the school year..... Starting tomorrow :)

last night wasnt a dream
and no matter how many times u tried to wake up,
you were awake the whole time..

Something from my heart.

I love you and not matter what I do, where i go, who im with, i will always love you. You allowed me to love you with all my heart. You never told me no. You never told me to stop. You let my heart come out my shirt and never told me to put it away. I text you meaninglessly but u never told me to stop. You embraced it and grew to love it. You love me and no matter what happens, i will always love you.

Four Days Away

Heart is beating out of control.
Blood is rushing out of my body.
Passion is pouring out of my heart.
Ready to play this game.
But we are four days away.
Wanna Lock Up!
Wanna take that shot!
Wanna pump up the team..
But we are four days away.
Practice isnt cuttin it.
Wanna sellout for the team
Wanna play this game..
But we are four days away

Me

Come with me.
Stay with me.
Breath with me.
See with me.
Love with me.
Cry with me.
Live with me.
Die with me.
Fight with me.
Grow with me.
Love me.

Baby Please Stay

With a blink of an eye, you were gone
But with the taking of a breath you were back
With the flash of a camera, you disappeared
But with the blow of the wind, you appeared
With the strike of your hand, you sent me away
But with the kiss of your lips, you brought me back to you
Back and forth, forth and back
Baby, please stay..

The reason why

I cant understand why I`m crying
Why i want this more than you.
Why i want you to change more then you.
Why i sit here and beg you and u dont
Why i get upset when we talk about things
Why you dont tell me how you feel.
Why when i ask you, you dont tell me..
Why my heart hurts right now
Why in a moment where u need me, you dont call me
Why it takes fighting to wake you up
Why you wont put ur guard down
Why you wont open your heart..
Why I am still here..
Why am i still here?
I love you.
But ur making it impossible
I`m crying because i love you
Everything refers back to I love you..
Answer to the above..
Crying is worth it if the reason is love..

Tomboy
Follower
Indecisive
Retard
Dumb
Weak Minded
Confused
Hard
Absent Minded
Grown
Attitude
Negative

Hello my name is Sydney and according to YOU.. I`m all the above

Once upon a time

Once a upon a time
In a land far away
There lived two children
Named Sydney and Trey
They enjoyed TV
Family Guy the best
They watched it religiously
Before they would rest.
They would laugh and cry
And though there eyes were heavy
They never had to strength to walk away steady
Though their mother complained that the language was foul,
The two children felt that they became closer somehow.
Laugh at the words and the sexual phrases as well,
Who knew that they would get a kick out of "Hell".
Though the mother complains all the time
The kids wil keep watchin every single time
And when they are old, they will look back and smile.
Thanking each other for the time spent worthwhile

Another night without me

I could feel your heart beat last night
It was tense. Steady but yet fast.
Like your body was waiting for something to slow it down.
I could hear your mind racing last night.
It was moving too fast for me to comprehend.
I heard you breathing last night.
You were trying to breath slowly but the pain made it hard.
I felt you drowning last night.
In the sea of all the despair that this love has brought you.
I tasted your tears last night as they ran down your face.
Trying to be held back but slipping with the thought of our love
I held you in my arms last night
And though you were 15 miles away from me,
I felt every emotion you felt as you drifted to sleep
Another night without our love..
Another night with out me..

"good morning baby" I hear this and pull you closer to me. You smell like last night. Our time together was precious last night. We laid together in each others arms and talked bout our future. As the snow fell silently in the city, we got closer to each other;hearing nothing but our hearts beatin to the sound of one anothers. As the snow fall picked up, the room got colder. I pulled you closer to me, before u could feel the chill hit your body. After I did it, you smiled at me; happy I did it.. You looked up at me with those eyes and I knew what you wanted. I kisse the top of your head, soft and sweet with a sensual touch. You snuggle closer to me and I tighten my grip around ur body.. As u drift off to sleep, your heart beat slows down,. Giving you the clue to get us ready for bed. I carry you to the room and place you in your spot on the bed. I go to put you down but you dont loosen your grip,. Tellin me not to leave you.. I promise you I will be back after I change but you insist that I stay.. After giving in, I settle in behind you and stroke your hair until you fall back to sleep. You never let go of my hand as we sleep.. And when I woke up to you, my hand was still in urs.. And urs in mine

Bed not the Same

My bed is not the same,
Since you`ve been away.
My bed is not the same,
Even though i sleep in it everyday.
My bed is not the same,
And i changed my sheets twice
But it will never posses the title of "nice".
Sleep comes less
And my minds always racin`.
Causing me pain for the love i am chasin
My beds not the same.
And i changed everything twice.
And until you come back, it will never be right.

The wind blew with vengence as the rain pelted against my wind sheild. Shaking and swaying with the direction of the wind, my car, affectionately known as the green goblin, trudged on thru the storm. The call came in at 11:22am. I can still hear that voice on the other end. I havent heard it in 7 years but oddly enough, i have been waiting for it. I knew today was going to change my life. Our lives. November 22, 2017. The day i said to wait for 7 years ago. We were in high school. Young and in love. Forced apart by fear. But together still at heart. We kept in contact throughout college.Thru letters and text messages and the occasional AIM. We promised to be together, but yet pinky promised that we would experiencing the joys of college. And though we swore to each other that we would live our lives without the binds of our lost love, neither of us gave in. I dated a couple of people in college. But the second i got close, my heart told me no and shut the door, placing a sign saying in all caps NO VACANCY. I havent heard that voice since high school. The voice that used to wake me up in the morning after a long night. The voice that everytime i heard it, my heart would stop, knowing that a moment with you would take my body somewhere its never been. The voice that called me at 11:22 am on November 22, 2017 and said two words to me.. You promised. Then the line went dead and i knew that this was our time. The time that we had waited 7 years for. The time when our lives would end and our forever would begin...The thoughts running thru my head, I arrive. I see the light in the front window and the shadow. The shadow of my future. The rain picks up as a exit the car and run to the door. I go to ring the doorbell but instead i am greeted by my future. and just like 7 years ago, i repeat the lines i had trademarked since day one.. "when have i ever broke a promise"...

Gametime

Destination Reached
Door Opened
Bag Out
Door Locked
iPod Out
Steps Taken
Reach Door
Knock Hard
iPod Paused
Great Security
Press Play
Open Door
Check Score
Eye Opponent
Greet Team
Share Laughs
Cut Ass
Watch JV
Get Jersey
Put On
Streach Out
Join Hands
Thank God
Game Plan
Hands In
Gametime

Me and the Moon

So this is my actual post for the night.

I looked at the moon tonight and never had it seemed so close to me. I stopped and at that moment it seemed like just me in the world. Me and that good ole moon. When i realized it was just us, I guess you can say it was bold of me but I just happened to say "hey" and the moon responded back with a similar greeting.. "Sup". So i told him what was good. How my life was. What i wanted out of it. Whats missing. If i could take back.. you kno those question that people ask you when they want to get into your mind. After i finally stopped talking, the moon looked at me and said, " you have everything. every night i watch you. i look into your dreams and i know what you want. you have everything you want, you just gotta reach out and grab it." I looked into the moon and though i knew i was either hit on the head really hard or mayb i was just going crazy, but at that moment it didnt matter. There was a reason that when i looked into the moon tonight, nothing else in the world was there. It was almost like the moon knew that it was time that i realized that its up to me. Everything i want it up to me. And i cant be afraid to go after it. Because in the end, i had to live my life.. Tonight is the night.. Thank you moon, good night..

Split in two

Everytime i see you.
My heart stops.
Everytime i think about you,
Everything in my brain pops
Makes room for you
The laughs the tears
The endless nights we thought about our future years
But we are severed now
Against our wills
Split in half like a night time pill
Expected to work with the strength always given
But spilt we are, and no, we dont want ribbon
A broken clock
How am i supposed to work?
You took out my batteries
I dont know the time jerk!
You say i am gone
And yes that is true
You bought me the ticket
When you split the pill in two...

This is for last nights miss.. :)

11:54.. In six mintues this day will be over. In six mintues nothing that happened today will matter because it happened today. Everything that hurt me today won't hurt me tomorrow because I'm stronger. 11:55. In five mintues how I felt today won't be how I will feel tomorrow.. I won't remember how u treated me. How you looked at me.. 11:56.. In four mintues I move on.. I move on because four mintues from now it doesn't matter anymore.. The past is the past ..11:57.. Three mintues from now, I will love you more..though today wasn't our day, tomorrow will bring back more love.. 11:58.. Two mintues.. I miss you.. One mintue to reflect.. 11:59.. I love you.. And in one mintue.. I'll love you more.. BC it's a new day

Dear ___________

Dear _________,

I know who you are, and I can feel you. You are watching out for me. I can tell. You love me from afar. You know my every move. You know how I smell, how I taste and how I love. You love me. But you dont know how. You want me, but you dont think I want you. You want to say something but you cant. I know you but we lost it. It was cut off. We tried to bring it back but they didnt let it happen. Now your just there. And so am I. I`m something without you but I am something more with you. I need you to wake up and realize that you are worthy to be with me. We are different. But we love the same. I sleep sometimes and hear your heartbeat. Your heart is racing. You know why? Because I know you I hear it. It scares you how much I love you. But you know what? It scares me that somebody can mean so much to me. I wanna say your name but i cant. Your more then just a name and to call you by it doesnt show how much you mean to me. I love you _______.. And I always will..

I Love You Too

Sometimes when we touch, I cant even breath,
And when you kiss me, i dont even know where im at..
Then there are those times that I see you, and i just fall in love with you all over
Oh and when I just hear you and dont see you, I get butterflies because i know your near
Hey guess what?! When I`m with you, my world spins backwards..
Did you know that i have never loved anybody as much as i love you?
But you wanna know the worst part?
When i miss you, none of this matters because i cant have it..
I do want all of this when i miss you..
But nothing beats those three simple words
The words that i said first.. remember that?
i`ll give you a hint..
It starts with I and ends in You..
And if you say it to me..
I`ll say
I Love You Too..

At what point in life do you make decisions for yourself? Is it now while your young? Or do you go with the flow until your 18 and then just have a field day exercising the fact that you are officially legal? For a couple of year I have been toying with this. I am at a point in my life where there a decision that I am making but its not advised by my parental. All my life i have done what i am supposed to do. Good grades. Good everything. But now I am starting to see that I am getting to that point where I want to make decisions for Sydney. Now without going into details, I`m not thinking about killing anyone, or doing drugs or getting something ridic tattooed on my boobs. Its a simple thing that even though ill advised, I feel with sometime, this will work. I`m confident that this is something that, for the moment is a minor problem. But with time, it wont be an issue. I`m just trying to figure out at what point do i start to think about Sydney and Sydney only. Not mom and dad and Sydney but Sydney. Sydney wants this bad.. but it doesn't seem that Sydney will get it right now. But at what point do i start to make decisions for my life? When can i officially start. I need this answer or the next year of my life will not be something to remember...

In..TROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So I figured before I get into the actual creative writing, I am going to ease into this. Not too too slow but for tonight, I think I`m just going to introduce myself to the followers. My name is Sydney Durrah and I sit in the first row. I`m the black girl behind Chynia (spell check..my bad girl! i know its not like the country so give me some love for that). And I know the burning question might be present since you just read my name so to answer it and save you the yearning, yes, I am Mrs. Durrah`s daughter. Yes it sucks to have your mom in the school and no i dont hit her up for money, its usually the other way around.;)I play varsity basketball at our high school and I love every second of it. Plus, it allows me to drink soda at my leisure and not have to stress about it because I end up sweating it off anyway at practice. Without basketball, there`s no soda and without soda, my life is incomplete soooooooo we all make out in the long run. Aside from basketball, I enjoy electronics.. I am a gadget geek and my mom hates it because I always want the new thing. I am the proud parent of the iPhone 3g and a new mother to a Sony Reader that i adore. They are my main focus right now and without them I am nothing. For this blog, I am considering playing with the idea for a novel. It is not going to be my focus but i promise everything will flow. i was never a poet. I can rhyme when i have the time. But for the sake of the class, cause i do wanna pass, I`m gonna grace you with my words in the form of books, reread over that.. take a look, because i have the time, i just made that work and rhyme.. lol on purpose. So I`m going to hit the hay and think of some ideas so i can actually come out with something for a lifetime. Good Night bloggers..